Following on from the first part of this project exploring our Mommy kinks, we get deeper into our bodies, how it's less about the label of the individual body part but more about the power or context you give it and how it is received.
How a breast can feel like more like a dick but also how a dick can be a proxy for the breast and Mommy's dick makes it as a soft, suckling object of feeding and nurturing rather than forcing and taking.
How when you give a lot to your partners and your community, having a space to name your role in your nurturing can free you up from feeling taken advantage of, it becomes care that's actively received and acknowledged.
That being baby is a space for obliteration of of the self, of ego and of gender - babies after all are mostly genderless. That pleasing mommy and doing what she wants and needs for a change can be a way to give back some of the care she provides.
About softness and wetness and opening yourself up. About consuming and feeding, being merged and joined. One consuming the other, both folding into each other, an ouroboros - temporarily one.
And how bodies and body parts; gender, mothering and nourishment are more fluid (excuse the pun) than we imagine, this is an exert from a text on a christian mystic called Saint Catherine of Sienna were she describes her ecstatic vision of drinking from the side wound of Christ: "With that, he tenderly placed his right hand on her neck, and drew her towards the wound in his side. ‘Drink, daughter, from my side,’ he said, ‘and by that draught your soul shall become enraptured with such delight that your very body, which for my sake you have denied, shall be inundated with its overflowing goodness.’ Drawn close in this way, … she fastened her lips upon that sacred wound, … and there she slaked her thirst."
(milk weeping side wound of Christ was the creation of the lovely and talented, Rosie 🤍)
We going back to why we started exploring this project in the first place - does our decision to probably not be mothers, inform and deepen the complexity about why we love to play Mommy in bed. The grief of giving up that space, processed through the lens of the erotic.
For this second part, we reconnected with the Velvet and Sadie who we first worked with on our film Crash. When we put the call out for potential perfomers to join the project we were looking for people who had experience of Mommy dynamic and who could bring something to our personal understanding of the project. Their dynamic in their relationship is as much about sex as it's about what's not sexual and learning all the ways in which they play with the archetype really informed and expanded so much of the conversations me and Valerie were already beginning to have about bodies and gender and community and care.
Endlessly grateful to the people who've come on this journey with us and shared their vulnerability and perspective to make this series. Thanks for somehow being both interesting and thoughtful speakers and horny little perverts.
Your response to part one was beyond what we ever could have imagined! Thank you to every single person who shared or emailed or messaged to say that it resonated with you or spoke to you or made you feel something. It's not often you get to make a porn where one person tells you it made them cum and another person says it made them cry.
You've helped us think through our own understanding in transformative ways and it's given us new perspectives to consider. You've also given us more memes about milk and milk themed content than I ever thought possible, I love it - keep it up.
I'll say it again but taking on a project that was so ambitious about something so personal was a big ask. I just want to say thank you again to Valerie without whose camaraderie and commitment to both perversion and thinking deeply about perversion this project would have been nothing.
I'm going to include the project write up again below 🤍
Why are we into this and what is it that underpins and intertwines with this kink. It’s a dense subject and the 2 parts which could never go far enough to define what the potential in this exploration is for everyone, this is our deeply personal and non-exhaustive perspective.
The archetype of mother looms over us across cultures, it’s powerful and ubiquitous so it’s unsurprising that it can show up in our sexual psyches. Motherhood - a state of scared purity, a woman fulfilling their "god given purpose”, a women being useful - to explore the inherent complexity of the mother as symbol is to desecrate one of the most protected and venerated positions in society. Historically, the sexuality of mothers, people who are pregnant and wives is especially sanitised and minimised. No longer living, breathing and human with desires, wants and needs but simply precious and delicate vessels for carrying on a linage. This kind of dehumanising still continues in some part today.
The phrase “madonna / whore complex” was even coined in psychoanalysis to describe the way that men often desire a sexual partner who has been degraded - the whore - while they cannot desire the wife and mother of their children, the respected partner - the madonna. The irony here being that the continued popularity of the “milf” porn category suggests that mother’s who fuck still very much occupy much of our sexual imaginations.
This push and pull with the archetype is what makes exploring the sexuality of the symbol of the mother so potent and powerful. It’s also why it makes it such a controversial topic to touch on. Just talking about motherhood is a site of deep complexity and vulnerability for many people, ourselves included.
Coming from someone who was, for my sins, a child actor, I often think about ways that sex can be theatre. It can be a space to play out roles and ideas in the zone of the sexual stage and sometimes you desire an experience that confronts you, to say or do things you wouldn’t normally dare to. And sometimes, it’s just fun? Fun to step outside of yourself, outside of expectations and limitations, fun to try on different ways of being.
All role play like this is a little cringe and requires deep vulnerability and trust between everyone involved and an acceptance of the inherent silliness of it all. I often find calling sex “play” a little awkward but if we think of play in terms of ‘experimentation with no purpose other than our pleasure’ then it makes sense. We learn about all parts of ourselves through imagination and fantasy without having to be fixed in the limitations or dangers of reality, this learning doesn’t need to stop when we reach adulthood.
What we desire is not separate from the world we move within - it intersects with past experiences of connection, touch, or trauma, which go on to form the foundations of our sexual selves. Things that give us the most pleasure can come from complicated sources. It’s one of the most fascinating parts of the human experience. Our desires are not always comfortable, easy or neat.
Sex has this visceral pull, bypassing our polite, thinking brain and tapping into something inside our guts, inside our body. This is why it’s so compelling and sometimes unnerving. It can seem to sit in contrast to the way we think about our public facing selves, it allows us to explore untapped parts of our inner lives. it can make us feel out of control or undone. Desire isn’t about what you already have and are — it’s allowing yourself to explore the potential possibility of what you could have and do and be. Letting your imagination run wild and examining what it comes back with. We can and often should investigate what our desires tell us about ourselves and the society we live in but we should also free ourselves from the idea that they define our moral lives. Desires, for me, are questions to be explored without easy answers, which is why creating safer spaces in sex for trust, vulnerability and learning are so important.
All of this is to say, this film and this type of play won’t necessarily be for everyone and that’s ok! Exploring the never-ending complexity of sexuality is some of the greatest joys of this kind of work. I hope even if it’s not something you’re personally into it’s interesting to think about. If it’s something you’re viscerally not into and want to skip this one that’s completely fine too.
We had so much fun shooting, I hope the serious complexity and the joyful silliness (I mean, there's 2 mommies) comes through. I won’t go too far into the content and I’ll let the film speak for itself.
CONTENT NOTES lactation, breast feeding, mother/baby related role play & language, discussion of daddy/mommy issues and kinks, fake wound, make believe milfs.
